2020

Tomorrow is start of a new decade.

Listening to yourself

There are times, most of the time it seems lately, when we get all tangled up in managing our many different roles in life. Some we have chosen to take on, some are given to us and we feel we can take them on, and some we are obliged to have but choose to either do them resentfully or even, deny them.

Lately mine have been very demanding and maintaining some sense of a healthy balance between them has driven me to exhaustion. I don't even remember my dreams anymore!
All I want to do is sleep in between all of my responsibilities and that is making me wonder what is going on in my head?!  And I'm sure it's not pessimism sinking in, that "tap on the shoulder by Kazoo" that I've taken on too much; you see, I have happily chosen my responsibilities, am happily enjoying them still , and I even like my obligations too.
But something's nagging me. Giving me headaches, making my joints ache, I even, oddly enough, sprained my neck two days ago.

So I took some time to consider it all. Stopped everything, told all and asked all for a day of silence to myself. Couldn't have received a better gift than to be given this space in which to consider what's going on. It simply seems that one needs a bit of time like this, a bit of time to reflect, and time to stop and rest. That's what I wasn't doing, resting properly. Yes, we sleep, occasionally nap twice a year if able, and then get back into the rhythm of very busy lives. Why do we do it I ask? What are we chasing? Why isn't one or two things enough to do a day rather than ten?

I have found some peace in choosing to listen to myself from here on. And asking for this space on my own has in return, made us all happier for what it is giving us in the Now.